


It's The End of The World As We Know It

by Jassy



Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-04
Updated: 2011-02-04
Packaged: 2017-10-15 09:47:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/159560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jassy/pseuds/Jassy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the Apocalypse drags on, Sam grows desperate enough to consider an extreme plan to make it stop.  Gabriel, reluctantly, agrees.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's The End of The World As We Know It

**Author's Note:**

> This features always a girl!Sam and I'm not sure why. The story just seemed to work better with Sam as a girl. Also, please don't shoot me for the ending. I like remaining unventilated.

Sam checked that Dean was asleep before she slipped out of bed.  She didn’t attempt silence, since she knew full well that would wake Dean up faster than anything.  When he stirred, she whispered, “It’s fine, just going for a soda down the hall.”  Dean settled again, and Sam slipped outside.

The sky was clear, not even a wisp of a cloud overhead.  She could see the stars shining through the hazy light of the city night.  She closed her eyes to it and concentrated.  “Gabriel.  Please come.”  She thought hard about their location as she prayed.

“Well.  This is unexpected.”  Sam opened her eyes to see Gabriel leaning back against the Impala.  “What do you want?”

“I have a question, and I need an honest answer.  It’s about....”  She sighed.  “The apocalypse, what else?”

“Will you say yes to Lucifer if I answer?”

“Of course not.  But...your answer is still important.  We both want this mess to be over, Gabriel.”

“I suppose I don’t have anything better to do,” Gabriel drawled.  “I’ll answer you.  Honestly.”

“Thank you.  Anna had a plan.  She wanted to kill me, and scatter my cells so far and wide across the universe that no one would ever be able to put all the pieces back together.  I want to know if it would work.  Is it possible to scatter the bits of me and make it impossible for anyone to bring me back?”

Gabriel stared, as utterly serious as he’d been inside that ring of holy fire.  “She...suggested that?  Sammy, that’s – obscene.”

Sam blinked.  “Why?  It’s just killing me.  I’ve died lots of times.  Why is that so different?”

“Because she didn’t mean just your body, she meant scattering your soul as well.  We can rebuild your body around your soul if your body’s been destroyed beyond repair.  Your soul retains a memory, an imprint, of your body.  Enough to work with, anyway.  But what she suggested...she had to know it would mean the complete, utter destruction of your soul as well.”

“So what?” Sam demanded.  “So what, Gabriel?  What do you think will happen to me if I were to let _him_ in?  How long before my mind and soul are twisted and broken beyond recognition?  How is that better!”

Gabriel looked away, shoulders hunched.  “He might shield you,” he mumbled.  “Or cut you free.”  He gestured at his body.  “Heinrich – this body’s original owner – got tired of palling around with me after a couple centuries and asked to be cut loose.”

“And then what happens?  My body is totally his, and I’m not even there to try to distract him, to fight him down.  I’ll probably end up in hell, because lets face it, after letting him in?  I’d deserve a one way ticket straight down.  Heaven won’t reward me for that, no matter how hard all of you are pushing for it.”  Sam took a deep breath.  “Anyway, that’s not the point.  The point is this: Anna believed that removing me as a possible vessel would bring all of this to an end.  Was she right?”

Gabriel walked away, hands shoved in his pockets.  Sam stayed silent.  He didn’t seem to be ignoring her, or putting her off, he seemed to be thinking it over.  There was no need to push.  After several minutes, she saw him nod slowly.  “Yes.  It would work.  He’s weaker in his imperfect vessel.  And once that burns out, he’ll have no choice about leaving earth.  Dad made it so that we couldn’t be down here for more than a few seconds before the planet itself would reject us.  He might cause some damage with an epic temper tantrum, but he’s got maybe a few months, at best, left in that vessel.  He won’t risk a fight with Michael like this.”

“Then it’s over.  He either goes to heaven, takes the fight there, or returns to his cage.”  Sam nodded once, decisively.  “Gabriel.  It will be over.  The fighting will stop.  Both our family’s will be safe.  Castiel is missing, and wouldn’t be able to do this for me even if he were around and willing.  Will you?”

“What you’re asking goes against everything we were taught, Samantha Winchester.  We can kill and maim, but to completely unmake one of our Father’s creations?”

Sam bit her lip and walked over to him.  Hesitantly, she reached out and touched his arm.  “Gabriel.  I will do anything to stop this.  Anything except say yes,” she corrected.  “I can’t take the fighting anymore.  The dying.  They brought our brother back, you know.  Adam.  And then they took him from us.  He might say yes to Michael, and I guess he’s a close enough fit to work.  And every day, a little bit more of me is chipped away.  Every time I see the circles under my brother’s eyes, every time I turn on the news, every time I sleep and have to listen to _him_ whisper in my dreams.  So you tell me of another way, Gabriel.  Tell me another way that has a hope in hell of working.  Something that doesn’t have our brothers fighting and killing each other.  Because from where I’m sitting, the most obscene thing is family killing family.  If one death can stop it all, then I’m more than willing to do it.  But I can’t do it alone.  Please, Gabriel.  For the sake of everyone, human and angel alike, please.”

“You really are a bitch, you know that?”  Gabriel turned around and cupped her face with both hands.  “You won’t go to heaven or hell.  There won’t be any of you left _to_ go.  Do you understand that?  You’re asking me to make you cease to exist.  Are you truly prepared for that?”

She met his gaze resolutely.  “Yes.  I am.”

“Very well.  Then I agree.  Are you ready now?”

“I – I need to....”  She gestured at the motel behind them.  “I have to say goodbye.  I can’t leave him like this, not knowing.  An hour?”

“Just an hour?  You think you can convince him in an hour?”  Gabriel managed a ghost of his usual smirk.  “You’re good, Winchester, but you’re not _that_ good.”

“Oh no, I wasn’t planning on waking him up.  I’m not stupid, you know.  No, I’m going to make him a video.  There’s a lot that I have to tell him, and I’d never get through it all for the arguing if I woke him, and my wrist would swell if I tried writing him.”  She smiled back.  “Besides, I’m a technogeek, so making a video is more fitting.”

“Okay then.  I’ll wait here, you go make your video.”

Sam turned towards the motel, then stopped.  “Actually – never mind.”

“What, Sam?  You might as well ask.”

She looked back at him.  “I used to write him letters.  While I was away at college, I mean.  I never sent them, though, and they burned in the fire.  Can you – is it possible for you to retrieve them?  I’m not sure he’ll believe me without them, and I....”

“I’ll get them,” Gabriel promised.  “Go make your video.”  He snapped his fingers and was gone.

Sam went back to the motel.  She wasn’t afraid.  She wasn’t even sad.  All she felt was a peculiar kind of peace that came from _knowing_ that she was doing the right thing.  There was a little apprehension that Gabriel might be playing her, lying to her, or might just plain change his mind, but mostly all she felt was peace.  She dug out their video camera and broke into a separate room.   
When the camera was on, she sat on the edge of the bed and looked straight into the lens.  “Hello, Dean.  You’re probably very, very angry with me right now,” she began calmly.  “I don’t blame you for that.  So let me tell you first that this isn’t Gabriel’s fault.  I asked this of him, and I could see how much he didn’t want to do this.  Not because he was all for the final showdown between his brothers, because he wasn’t.  Doing this went against the very core of his beliefs, and it hurt him.  Probably as much as it’s hurting you.”

She looked away for a moment, breathing deep.  When she looked back, she tried to smile, but it felt sickly even to her so she stopped.  "We never really talked.  We argued a lot, but we never really talked about the important stuff, did we?  I think, I hope, I can make a decent guess about the things that bothered you the most.  Me leaving and Ruby.  So I'll try to answer those for you.  When I left, it had nothing to do with you.  I wasn't even all about Dad, although all the fighting with him made it easier."  She licked her lips nervously.  "We were constantly surrounded by evil, Dean.  Researching it, tracking it, killing it.  Or in training so that we could kill it.  It was in everything we did, one way or another.  I don't blame Dad for that, not anymore.  I think I understand him a little better now.  Anyway, I could see all these other people, and you can say what you like about ignorance and vulnerability, but their lives weren't steeped in this crap.  And this life scared me more than I can tell you, Dean.  You shielded me from a lot of it, you always protected me, but it was still there.  I spent every waking minute waiting to lose one of you, and dreaming about your deaths when I slept.  I knew if I stayed that I'd get you killed some day.  So I left.  I wasn't as afraid anymore, and I knew that you'd have an easier, safer time of it if I wasn't there needing to be looked after.  I never wanted to leave you.

"Ruby.  Ruby was a mistake from the outset.  But...my worst fears had come true.  First you were going to die, because you'd saved me.  And then you were gone, and there was no one who would deal, no one I could beg or threaten to get you back.  And Ruby offered me a way to kill Lilith.  Nothing mattered, not the self destruction that I knew had to come with drinking her blood, nothing.  I wanted Lilith dead, because even if whoever took her job over still wouldn't deal to release you, I'd at least have had revenge.  And when you came back, God, Dean, you were...hurting.  You weren't broken, you've never really been broken, but you were hurting so bad, and it was my fault.  She had to die for that, and so that there was no way that she could take you back.  I never once believed that Ruby was my friend.  She was a demon, there's no such thing as altruism in demons.  But I thought the catch was helping her move up the chain of command down there or something.  I never dreamed that killing Lilith could have such horrible consequences.  It was never really about choosing her or trusting her over you.  It was about protecting you, avenging you, and I'm sorry.  It was the biggest mistake of my life, and you've been paying for it ever since.  The whole world has.

"I'm doing what I can to fix that, though.  You've always been my role model.  I've always tried, and failed, to live up to you.  Did you know that?  You're my big brother, and you've been my only saving grace in life.  I love you, and I'm proud of you, and I'm doing the only thing I can to fix this mess that I've made.  I don't expect you to forgive me.  I don't deserve it.  I do want you to move on.  I think Uriel was more right about me than either of us wanted to admit, I am an abomination.  Why else would everything that I touch turn out so wrong?  But I'm doing the right thing, for once.  This once, I'm getting it right, I can feel it.  Without me, he can't remain on earth.  Gabriel says _he_ might throw one last temper tantrum, though, so be careful of that.  But once his vessel burns out, the earth itself will reject him.  I guess angels can't walk around naked down here," she laughed.  "Anyway, without me, this whole thing goes kaput.  Life can get back to normal, and that’s what I want for you.  You deserve to be happy, Dean.  Mourn me if you feel like you have to, but move on.  Find a pretty girl and settle down.  Maybe Lisa might like a visit from you.  I think she really liked you, and Ben did too.  But for heaven's sake, if you have any kids – and I think you should, you'd be an amazing father – don’t name any of them after me!  I'm not namesake material."

Sam looked down at her lap and sighed, twisting her fingers together in her lap.  She wanted one last hug, but of course that was impossible.  Dean hadn't hugged her in...months.  Dean didn't touch her if he could help it.  "I guess that's it.  I don't think this came out as clearly as I wanted it to, but time's running out.  I love you.  I'm grateful that I got to have you as my brother.  I'm proud of you and I always have been.  When Cas gets back, don't push him away.  He's a good friend for you, the best, and you deserve the best.  Don't hate Gabriel for this.  If you must hate someone, hate me.  This was my idea, my choice."  She glanced up at the camera again as she blinked back tears.  "Hey, speaking of Gabriel, could you have Cas check on him?  I think this, what I've asked him to do, really is hurting him.  He could probably use a brotherly visit.  I don't think he should be left completely alone after this.  But only if Cas isn't angry with him.  Don't tell him, but I kinda like the guy, tvland notwithstanding.  Tell Bobby that I love him, and he's the best uncle any kid could hope for.  Oh yeah, there's a stack of books in my bag.  He'll probably want those back.  Be happy, Dean."  She reached out and switched off the camera.

When she went back outside, Gabriel was waiting for her with a shoe box in his hands.  Sam tucked the camera in on top of the letters, then gave him a watery smile.  "Take him to Bobby's before you give it to him?" she begged.  "He shouldn't wake up to this alone.  And if Cas is alright, maybe...."  She trailed off, very aware of the fact that she was already asking more than she had any right to.

"Cas is all but human now," Gabriel told her.  "He's asleep.  I think that should make things easier, actually."  He snapped his fingers, and they were suddenly standing in Bobby's back yard.  The Impala was parked just a few feet away.  "Dean and Castiel are inside, still sleeping."

Sam gripped his arm tightly.  "Thank you, Gabriel.  Thank you."

Gabriel walked over to put the shoe box on the Impala's hood, then turned back to her.  As he did, lights went on in the house.  Gabriel raised his eyebrows.  "Suspicious fellow, this Bobby.  Angel detection wards.  We're about to have company, cupcake.  Are you still sure about this?  Now's the time to change your mind."

"I'm sure," Sam said firmly, all traces of tears gone.  She stepped resolutely forward as Dean's voice came from the house, shouting her name.  Gabriel wrapped her in his arms and held her tightly.

"Close your eyes, Sam," he whispered.  "This will hurt, but only for a moment."

As her lids dropped, Sam caught one last glimpse of the world: Dean bursting out of the back door, with Bobby and Cas moving more slowly behind him, Lucifer appearing in the yard some distance away, and Michael appearing a moment after him, wearing Adam.  It was alright, though.  Gabriel was the Messenger, he was the fastest of all of them.  She felt his lips brush against hers once, dry and soft, and then every cell in her body burst into flame and split apart at once.

~

"SAM!"  Dean hurtled down the steps as his sister seemed to just...dissolve in Gabriel's arms.  His momentum carried him forward into a flying tackle.  They both went down with Dean landing on top.  He sat up and fisted both hands in the bastard's shirt.  "What did you do to her, you fucker?  Bring my sister back **now** , or I swear to God I'll make you pay."

"I can't," Gabriel whispered, sounding almost...broken.  "I can't bring her back.  No one can."

"What the fuck are you talking about?  Where is she?"

"Gone, Dean.  Your sister is no more."  Dean looked up into the face of his half brother, but the solemn look on his face was all Michael.  "Gabriel as committed a Forbidden act.  He has unmade Samantha Winchester."

"Why?" Dean asked.  "Why would you...I thought you _liked_ her.  I thought you _wanted_ the fight to happen.  And you go and, what did he call it?  You unmade her?  What does that even mean?"

"It means that he ripped her apart, molecule by molecule, and scattered the pieces so that no one could put her back together," Lucifer answered, raw fury in his voice.  "He did the same to her soul.  Nothing exists of her, in this world or in heaven, to be resurrected."

It was too big to take in.  Somehow, he didn't doubt the Devil's words, but he couldn't get his mind to wrap around the concept.  Sam being dead was one thing, he could fix that or die and join her, either one.  But he couldn't quite make his brain process the fact that she didn't exist in any form anymore.  He rolled off Gabriel to land on his ass in the gravel and just stared.

A hand touched his shoulder and he looked up into the grief-ravaged face of the archangel that had destroyed his sister.  "I'm to give you this.  She made a video for you.  Saying goodbye, I guess.  And these...she said she wrote them to you while she was in college, and she wanted you to have them."  Dean looked at the ground in front of his feet to see Sam's laptop sitting there, with the video camera hooked up.  Next to them was a shoe box fill with paper.  When he didn't move, Gabriel reached out and pushed play, then walked away.

Dean watched the video of his sister.  She had to have made it that night, he recognized the ugly decor of the motel they'd been staying in.  When it was over, he rewound it and paused it at the beginning, with her looking composed and strong and sure of herself.  He traced his fingers over the cold screen, then folded over himself as he shook with the loss.

~

Gabriel listened to the words of the video without looking at it or the man breaking apart in front of it.  He had never felt anything even close to what Sam had felt like coming apart within his grip, and he couldn't get the memory of it out of his head.  He wanted to join her in her oblivion, but unless Lucifer or Michael were willing to take that ultimate sin on their head, it wouldn't happen.  He would have to live with it.

"Why did you do this, brother?" Michael demanded.  "It is Forbidden!  To unmake one of Father's creations.... There's no punishment to fit this crime."

"I did it for you," Gabriel answered.  "I did it for all of you.  You have fought each other for millennia, and more of our brother's have died than I care to name.  I love all of you too much to see the fighting continue.  This conflict between you is over.  Sam Winchester chose this fate for herself to save her world and her brother.  She has made the one sacrifice that no one else was ever brave enough to make."  Gabriel finally turned and looked at them, united at last in their anger at him.  "She chose this sacrifice.  If she was willing to end her existence, how could I be any less willing to bear having been the one to do it?  I would bear anything to stop the fighting, brother.  We were happy, once.  Once, there were no closer friends than the two of you.  Our faith in our Father, our love for Him, was matched only by our faith and love for each other.  If we are truly so much better than these humans, how is it that it was one of them that was able and willing to do what none of us would?"  He gazed steadily at Lucifer as Sam's voice in the background implored her brother not to hate him for what he'd done.  For the first time ever, something besides wounded pride and anger shone out of the Morningstar's eyes: shame.

Lucifer looked sideways at Michael as Sam's voice finally came to an end.  Dean doubled over where he sat, and Castiel went to him.  Bobby looked ready  to drag himself by the arms to get to him as well, so Gabriel absently healed his damaged spine and plopped him down beside his adoptive son.

"Do you think he's right, brother?" Lucifer asked softly.  "Is there truly such merit in humans?"

Michael looked down.  "I don't know.  I've never known for sure.  I'm not sure it matters.  We're meant to have this fight, Lucifer.  It was Written, with only the ending left uncertain."

"It was Written that we would have the Winchesters as vessels," Lucifer retorted.  "Clearly, what is Written isn't always meant to be.  You have the wrong Winchester, I have none.  Who's to say that this, too, isn't meant to change?  I have never stopped loving any of my brothers, Michael.  Why should we fight?"

Michael looked torn.  "I am an obedient son," he whispered.

"Sam told me," Gabriel said softly, "that the only thing more obscene than unmaking her was the idea of family fighting family.  I chose to live with this stain because I think she was right.  We have killed too many of our brothers already, Michael.  No more.  Someone must end it, and Father is leaving it up to us to decide how it will end.  Make the right choice, Michael.  Choose life.  Choose love.  Don't make Sam's sacrifice meaningless."

Michael gazed at him with slowly dawning wonder and horror.  "You loved her," he realized.  "You loved her, and you unmade her.  How can you bear it?"

"Because I have to."

Michael shook his head and looked at Lucifer.  "It is worth talking over, at least.  Our brother deserves that courtesy, if nothing else."

"It's been a very long time since we talked," Lucifer agreed.  He gestured with one hand and the pair walked off.  They vanished between one step and the next, gone to who knew where, before they'd reached the edge of the property.

“It’s about time.”  Gabriel whirled around and gaped at his Father’s latest prophet, just standing there with his hands shoved in his front pockets, rocking on his heals.  “Those two are long, long overdue for a chat.  Hello, Gabriel.”  Chuck smiled, and something in that expression clued Gabriel in.

“Father,” he breathed. 

Castiel rose from his position beside Dean and regarded both of them with a steady gaze.  “Gabriel, are you quite certain?” he asked.  Gabriel could only nod.  Father didn’t seem angry, but Gabriel had broken that last taboo.  Not to mention the several centuries spent as a pagan god.  But...whatever punishment Father meted out, Gabriel would bear.  It couldn’t be worse than what he’d done to Sam, after all.

Castiel strode over to them, pale and sickly and moving like it hurt him just to breathe.  He got right up in Father’s face, drew back his hand, and punched Him.  Gabriel rather belatedly caught at his hand to prevent a second punch.  “Where have you been?” Castiel demanded furiously.  “We needed you, and you dare to show up when it’s all over and Sam Winchester is gone?  Why did you do this?”

“Oh, son,” Father sighed.  “You’re still so young.  It had to happen this way.  Well, admittedly I didn’t see it happening _this_ way this way, but it had to be all of you that decided how things would turn out.  Think about it for a while, won’t you?  And look after your friend, I think he needs you.”

Castiel glared at Him.  “This is such crap,” he declared.  But he turned and stalked back over to Dean, who hadn’t seemed to notice a thing.  Bobby had, though, and gave Castiel a look that clearly stated his opinion on Castiel’s mental health.

“I’m ready for my punishment,” Gabriel said, squaring his shoulders.

“Punishment?  Ah, right.  And what punishment do you think you merit for unmaking one of my creations?”

“I don’t know, Father.  I honestly can’t think of anything worse than remembering what it felt like,” Gabriel admitted.  “Sam believed it was the only way, and I think she was right.  I can’t think of anything else that could have shocked my brothers out of their ‘must fight’ mind set.  And...even if they had still wanted to, they were in the wrong vessels.  They wouldn’t have been able to do as much damage.”

“True enough.  I think, since this had such unexpected and pleasant side effects, that your punishment will be minimal.”  Father squeezed Gabriel’s shoulder.  “You get to keep remembering what it felt like.”

Gabriel bowed his head in acceptance.

~

Something made it through the monumental grief that had obliterated everything else, and Dean forced his head up, made himself look.  He frowned, seeing Chuck standing beside Gabriel.  “Chuck?  Did you know what Sam was going to do?  Why didn’t you _call_ me!”  He surged to his feet, scattering Cas and Bobby to the sides.

Castiel jumped up after him and grabbed his arm.  “That is not the prophet Chuck.  That is God.”

“Say what?”  Dean scowled at Chuck, but there was something else behind his eyes.  Dean couldn’t define it, couldn’t begin to describe it, but it wasn’t Chuck.  “You’re God,” he said flatly.  Chuck nodded.  “So where the fuck have you been?  Haven’t you been paying any attention to what’s been going on around here lately?  The world’s ending.  Sam’s _gone_.  You could have stopped it a long fucking time ago and you’ve been what, playing skeeball somewhere?”

“While that is an entertaining past time, I’m afraid the answer is no.  I’m sorry, Dean.  You and your sister, your whole family, have been hurt terribly.  I understand.  But it’s over, now.  Your sister gave you, gave the entire world, the ultimate gift: with her unmaking, she’s given you all the chance to keep living.  Be angry with me if you wish.  I can take it.  But if you’re willing to take a little advice, you should listen to what your sister wanted for you.  You have the opportunity to find a life of your own.  Love, maybe.  Perhaps children.”

“You say that like you think it’s that easy.  Like I’m just going to say ‘oh well, the little sister that I practically raised is scattered across the universe in pieces, body and soul, guess I’ll hit the beach’.”  Dean shook his head.  “Maybe your world didn’t end, buddy.  But mine did.”  He turned his back on God and waited for him to leave.


End file.
